28 Jan How to stop living in your head
“I’m always in my head!” “I’m overthinking it!” “I wish I could stop thinking so much!” I hear this so often from my clients. Why do we get stuck in our heads so much of the time? Well, for starters, we have A LOT of thoughts, all the time, all day long. Newsweek asserts: “The average person will typically have more than 6,000 thoughts in a single day, new research into the human brain suggests. The statistic comes from a team of psychology experts at Queen’s University in Canada, who say they have developed a never-before-seen way to detect when one thought ends and another begins, as described in a paper published in Nature Communications”. It’s no wonder many of us live in our heads.
One of many approaches that people take is to try to stop the thoughts from occurring in the first place. This often proves to be a futile approach. Just as we wouldn’t expect a dog not to bark because it is what they do naturally, we also shouldn’t expect ourselves to not have or to stop our thoughts as this is what we do naturally. What we do want to do, however, is to learn to manage them more effectively. Thoughts aren’t nearly as important as we make them out to be and we don’t have to hold on to each thought as if it was so important. For instance, maybe you are in a future thought of what if x happens, what will I do? When we are in a future thought we tend to be anxious, and when in a past thought we tend to be depressed. Both of those states – future and past thoughts – don’t exist. The future isn’t here yet, and the past is gone. The only thing that exists is the present moment and in the present moment, you will find that everything is fine. So how do you get out of your head, fearful of “x” and back to the present moment? By getting grounded back into your body. A deep inhale and slow exhale, grounding yourself into the room you are in by noticing your feet on the floor and taking note of what you see in the room – a picture or two, a window, etc.
The late Thich Nhat Hanh in his book Peace is Every Step gives many examples of how to utilize your breath to get yourself in the present moment and out of your head:
“There are a number of breathing techniques you can use to make life vivid and more enjoyable. The first exercise is very simple. As you breathe in, you say to yourself, “Breathing in, I know that I am breathing in.” And as you breathe out, say “Breathing out, I know that I am breathing out”. You don’t even need to recite the whole sentence; you can use just two words: “In” “Out”. This technique helps you keep your mind on your breath. …Our breathing is the link between our body and our mind. Sometimes our mind is thinking of one thing and our body is doing another, and mind and body are not unified. By concentrating on our breathing, “In” and “Out” we bring body and mind back together, and become whole again.”
